routine and the fear

I actually started to be feared of the working life. We will always go through a stage when we thought when you start working, you get all the freedom. However, recently, the thought changed. I wish i will never graduate.

Started to have this sudden fear that life is going to be repeating the same thing, same work, same routine everyday. I have not even started to get old but I just couldn't stop this thought from coming in. Perhaps as time pass, we get older and we just get to know that study life has less obligation as the all obligation is study. You fail, you try again. But working life is about you being responsible of your monthly expenses. When you stop working, you stop getting money. When you start working, you start planning. You start getting invitation from friend- wedding, friend's getting pregnant, friend's becoming mother, people asking your plan to get married or get a bf/gf, then you start planning a family.

True! This is the stage of life. But I am getting feared of it. I don't seem to welcome it. I once thought working, meet someone who love you and get married, building up a family should be a nice thing. But the responsibility is not about taking care of yourselves, but your family and work. It's as though you are living for someone. Perhaps that's the reason why till certain age ,religion comes into role and support the whole picture.

I am lost too. The phobia of working and the phobia of growing old are haunting me. If the time could stop, I want it to be stopped now and now. Freeze the very moment when I still can change my mind STUBBORNLY if I don't like something. Being irrational and irresponsible. Who doesn't like it. Back to reality, daily routine repeats and you will be walking the same path everyday.